(Continued from Part III http://kolika.blogspot.com/2009/06/my-cinderella-story-part-3.html)
Achilles, the time is nearing. And as much as we’d like to stall it in futile conversation and masticating faded glory, we have to get to what is inevitable. You have to understand Achilles that impatient “I” am only the catalyst of a cata-ballistic process, that’s much bigger and stronger than either of us… a future that’s stronger even than the mind that craved you and created me. And I have to admit Achilles that as much as I love to rant about how I’d bring about your end at my own sweet time and will, between the two of us, you are the only one who has any will of his own. Maybe an ancient chauvinistic one that’s out of proportion of your sister’s bedtime story book but it is still better than non-existent, I say.
As much as I would like to premeditate your demise, I cannot ignore that if is for you that I was born. In my fantasies when I’m dancing a wild tandav with your ashes, the rude awakening of sudden self-realization never misses me… I am just that—a cloud of ash. Of burnt hope and desires.
I am not your regular Cinderella. I carry the blood of the wise ones from the east. I cracked open from the eggs of the wicked witch. I am an obscurity to my own father. I was reared with magic. I was condemned by Eves and infatuated by Adams of your world. I am impatience. I ride with the tigers and riot against summer. And I mate you only to smell the putrid toxin of vengeance.
But (do you see that) I don’t exist without you? it is the longing for you that created me from my sisters delusions, born of the flames of her raging nerves here I stand talking of your destruction, at the countdown hour of my own end.
(To be continued… to go to the Part V, go to http://kolika.blogspot.com/2009/06/my-cinderella-story-part-5a.html)